I have come to realize that it might be difficult to talk about my new lifestyle of becoming the old me without actually telling everyone how much I weigh and how much I hope to weigh one day. But I just can't bring myself to type or even say aloud those numbers. However, I will say that in order for me to be healthy at my age and height my goal is to lose 70 lbs. Do the math if you wish, but keep it to yourself.
A small hurdle
Exercising is hard. Very hard. But without it this journey wouldn't be near as possible. I have started using the Biggest Loser workout. It goes with our wii, weighs me every week and sets up a very realistic routine for my body type and goals. The past three days I have stuck to this plan and for the 40 minutes my avatar trainer is yelling at me it sucks. It sucks bad. Its hard. I sweat, a lot. And my whole body is in pain. Then when its all over and I lay still for a moment all those feelings I have in my muscles are not too bad. I am not sore but I can feel muscles I didn't think I had anymore. Exercising is hard but it only a small hurdle I must get over so that I can get closer to my goal.
The Big Leap.
The hardest part of this lifestyle is the diet. By far! I love to eat. I eat when I am sad. I eat when I am happy. I eat when I am bored. From the hours of 8:30 am to 5:30 people I am home with only two kids. During those hours (and this is a big and embarrassing secret that I am still having trouble accepting) I eat. I eat because no one is there to see what or how much I eat. I eat what I want when I want. I am proud to say that for the past three days I have done so much better than I thought I would, but its still extremely difficult. My body is so used to eating all the time that it still thinks it needs to eat all the time, even when I'm not hungry. I wish there was a way I could trick my body into thinking it was eating without taking in any calories so if you have any suggestions or ideas please oh please share! I have an addiction to food, you may laugh and think I am crazy but I can tell you that cutting back on food is probably as hard as a smoker cutting back on cigarettes. I don't expect this to get any easier for a while. I know that I have to deal and accept alot of things, both physically and emotionally. But I can do it. I will do it.
The Finish Line
70 lbs. Seventy pounds is a lot to lose. I will say this over and over again because there really is no other way to say it but, this is hard. Support helps alot! I have a great support team at home(though I must convince Dusty that talking about it helps a lot more than keeping it off my mind by not talking) and I am hoping that this blog will become a big supporter too. The finish line is there, that I have to believe.
No comments:
Post a Comment